view member journals

i would like to say that this year has had a quiet start but it hasn't my other half has problems at work ie: goiong to loose his temper with his boss beacause all he does is drink .this is made worse by the fact he works in a pub . but never mind i'm sure he will cope .i'm still recovering from my op and must say i do feel a lot better now still the best bit is still not allowed to do house work ! and now they know just how much i do in this house while they are out and their favorite cry is there isn't enough hours in the day .well at least they know now what i do all day long and they have even started to washing in the basket insted of on the floor .well that's about it for now so see ya all later

Ok so today Im walking out of Economics class and heading to my locker to grab my stuff and go home. Well this Adam kid comes and starts talking to me.

Ok this is how I see Adam, Really BIG, bad teeth(their strait but dirty/yellowish) He thinks he's a little know-it-all. He's always "correcting" me, interupts my conversations, and just plain rude, weird and a total mess!!!�

Well this is how the convo. goes

Him: hey do u have a minute

me: sure?

Him: I was wondering if u would want to catch a movie this weekend

Me: Sry but im busy (Ewww!!!)

Him: Okay maybe next weekend

He must be on crack or something because I have made it more than obviouse to him from past "conversations" if you can even call them that. That I REALLY dont like him, at all!� Nodda, Zip Zeero!

So any1 have any advice on how to get him to leave me alone? cause he like stalks me! No joke.

��� Note to self: make planes next weekend with friends!!!

Today is a new day, anxiously waiting for the future will bring us. Not much is going on today same ol same ol. That may sound like nothing but it is alot, being a single eparent is the hardest job I have ever had. Whenever he asks what Iam doing I always respond either same ol' or nothing really. I just dont want to bore him with the details of my monotonous existence.� Although he says me talking about me is exciting� I dont think he wants details. Perhaps he believes Iam home doing nothing, oh well� let him draw any conclusions he chooses. Most days are spent cleaning, making phone calls setting / rescheduling appointment, talking to teachers, figuring out what will be for dinner, laundry (lots of it), paying bills figuring out� how to� not get in�a slump, cooking dinner, grocery shopping, making snacks.� Doing x.e's hair or getting her more stuff for her hair like beads, pony tails, searching the internet for better hair product and new styles, scrubbing walls, re arranging her room, trying to decipher how to get more hours out of my already hetic day. I spend very little time on myself, my life seems to consist of taking care of other people and their need usually take priority over mine.

Huh just recalling all things my day consist of makes me tired! Back to "him" we had a disagreement recently, he assumed I wasnt enthused about marrying him. This isnt true, I dont approach the subject because he always blows me off. Iam nervously excited� about spending the rest of my life with him. In some instances he is very infantile, I told him my friend was was paying me a visit.� I also told him during this time I prefer not to be touched. He concured then asked if he could sleep on the couch like I have the fuckin plauge. Having your period is not contagious, he is so damn ignorant! I just wanted to say grow the fuck up will ya!� He distanced himself from me yesterday, he seems to� think all women react the same way. I dont have mood swings during this time, I dont bleed for days on end, I dont� have pms at all with the exclusion of Putting up with Men Shit!

Love to me is not just girls and guys together. Love is a way of life. You love your friends, your life, maybe a certain kind of food, maybe you love loving! I know I do. So to me that's what love is.��<3�

and

AND

�

AND my...

AND

�AND

(Adorable babies)

AND THAt'S A FACT! But there are too many things to list........

He's suddenly not himself. We took him to see the vet on Tuesday after he fell the second time. When he went down the first time we heard it but no one was in the room to see what happened. We just heard a loud noise and when we got there he was laying on the floor instead of his pillow, all stretched out on his side. We knew the noise was him hitting the floor. That was Monday night, then Tuesday morning again -�this time I made him stand up and he really had trouble getting on his feet. His legs seemed very wobbley like he could go down at any point.

The whole day before seeing the vet he was only interested�in�laying on his pillow, he�even ignored his food!� When the man came to work on my PC�he usually�barks alot - nope, he ignored that too. We had to lift him into the truck - no way could he jump up there like he used to.�He usually is very excited whenever he's in the truck but he just layed down - wierd!

At this point the vet isn't able to pinpoint what the problem is exactly, he was only able to say that from what I told him, the xrays and the bloodwork results he believes there is something seriously wrong.�

I knew that! $500.00 to learn what I already knew! All he could do now is to refer me to�specialist - uh - no. Can't go any further, we can't afford even what we've spent so far.

I'm left with guilt, anxiety and sadness. He's been a good dog, he's our friend and I don't want to see him suffer. At this point all there is to do is wait and see & HOPE.